Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
