Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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