It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
