You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
