It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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