she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
