her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
