whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
