My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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