thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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