he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
