yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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