You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
