I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
