i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
