I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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