Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
