So drunk its hurt
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
