i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
