the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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