Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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