you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
