i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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