It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
