i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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