she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
