ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
