I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
