It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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