Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
