I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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