I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
