Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
