just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
