Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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