come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
