last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
