tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
