I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
bring money and cleavage
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
