And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
