OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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