What did we do last night that was yellow?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
