I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
