you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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