You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
