I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
