Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
