I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
