i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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