Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
