It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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