Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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