Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
